my reward...

...for all the crying, blowout diaper changes, middle of the night feedings, stress...

Margaret has been tough for the last few weeks. She cries a lot. She's happy a lot too, but the crying is really hard on me. First of all...I'm hot! My house is really, really warm. Everything is more intense when I am warm. Her crying seems louder, her naps seem shorter. I'm more patient than I thought I could be, but it runs out. We've had a few days (3 to be exact) where Margaret will cry for hours. Not constant, but enough that I am super frazzled, calling Dave home from work. I know this phase will end. I know that she will grow out of it...and probably quite soon. That is what gets me through. That, and her smiles.


We went to the doctor today for her 2 month check up. Is she already 2 months? It went so fast yet I can hardly remember life without her. As she lay on the table in the doctors office and we waited for him to come in, she smiled. She was happy and cooing. Smiling and playing shy. And my eyes were watering. I love her so much. My little baby blessed me with her sweet face. I was really overwhelmed. I realized that she sees me, she knows me, she loves me. We are connected, and when she smiles at me, or coos with her flared little nostrils, I can almost feel the electricity. My heart pounds and I want to eat her up. I don't think there is anything more sacred than being a mother. At least that is how I see things right now. Like I am incredibly blessed. Like I wouldn't trade those smiles and giggles for anything. I'll take the screaming, the exhaustion, the worry. Mmmm...love her.

10 lb 10 oz (43 %)

23 1/4 inches (81 %)

head circumference 40 cm (79 %)

wonder twins...

I just love when they come up with stuff like this on their own. :) Molly wanted to be just like her sweet big sister Elizabeth. All the way down to the "bracelets". They are obsessed with these things. Ponytail holders in all sorts of colors. They fit the wrist just perfectly...then they get lost...then I have to buy more.

my sister Caroline...

Happy Birthday dear Caroline!

I have to say...I've gotten quite overwhelmed with these birthday posts since Margaret arrived. I've missed 3 birthdays (my nephew Bennett, darling niece Valerie, and nephew-in-law Dan...I promise to get to them soon :)), but can't let this one go by without telling you how much I love this sister of mine. Caroline is the 2nd of my parent's 8. She is an amazing woman. Let me throw out some words that I think describe her well...beautiful, brilliant, passionate (SO passionate), loyal, hilarious (in a crude, wonderful way), animal loving, people loving. Everyone needs someone like Caroline in their life...in their corner. She is a fighter. She protects those she loves like a mother bear. I've crossed her a few times and I've hated it. I've also been loved immensely by her. She is so tender. I can remember one time in particular where my sisters, mom and I were on a trip together. Something had happened to make me sad. Really, really sad. I tried to keep quiet, but Caroline knew. She reached her hand over her seat and held mine. That was so overwhelming for me. Her love for me was actually tangible. It made me feel so calm, so protected, so cared for. I will never, ever forget that experience.

I love you and hope you have a great day Caroline!

it's a "good mom" day...

While enjoying the Pioneer Day festivities of Friday, we saw a crowd of people making rag dolls. Sitting in the 100 degree heat, tearing fabric, trying in vain to hear the instructions. Lizzy SO badly wanted to make one. We would see little girls walking around with theirs, and her heart was yearning. I REALLY wanted to let her have a go. I'm so co-dependant. She was darling, not demanding. Just crafty, and desperately wanting to try. She was the only one who really wanted to, so Dave walked over with her. They came back frowning...the line was too long, they were out of instructions, there wasn't enough fabric. I hated seeing her sad, so we promised we would look up directions on the internet and give it a whirl. It's now been 5 days since we made that promise, and she has asked about it every day. Multiple times a day. SO...I found an old sheet and we got to tearing.

And THIS...

turned into THESE!

They LOVE them and they are happy. Why don't I craft more with my kids? I consider myself quite a crafter, but I always seem to be too busy for this sort of stuff. They were thrilled. Jabbering the whole time. Telling me how nice I was. Complimenting eachother. What a morning. :) Head out to DI, find some old sheets, give it a try! Click {HERE} to see how.

G & G...

Grandma and Grandpa Schofield. We love them so much. They made a trip out to Utah a few weeks ago and stayed for nearly the whole month. We got to spend quite a bit of time with them. I have to say, Dave's parents are wonderful. Really, really great. They raised 13 beautiful, kind, loving children. They taught their boys to be gentle, sweet daddy's, and their girls to be capable, giving mothers. THAT is success if you ask me. They are patient with their children and grandchildren. I 've learned a lot from watching Beverly over the years. She is the epitome of unconditional love. A lot of us THINK we have it...she really does. She loves and supports her children, even when she disagrees with their choices. I need more of that trait in my life. And Pat...he is just happy. Full of stories, full of laughs. I'm grateful my kids have them as examples. <3>

celebrating pioneers...

I've never really been thrilled with Pioneer Day. It's a day off of work for Dave, which is great, but the actual pioneer part...I just didn't get it. Around here, most everyone has pioneer heritage. Sometimes they call it pioneer stock. We have lessons in RS all about the pioneers and our heritage...though it isn't MY heritage. My parents are both converts to the church. None of my ancestors came across the plains. I used to feel slightly inferior during these lessons, then I just started tuning them out. Until last year. I realized something. I realized that although those many, many people who crossed the plains weren't related to me, their sacrifice affected me as if they had been. They sacrificed their homes, their belongings, their lives...for the Lord and for those they knew would come later. I am one of those. So are you. I am so grateful for them and for their faith. I am here because of it.

So...I felt like Dave and I needed to get the kids out this year on Pioneer Day, to experience the festivities. We did it. It was DANG hot, but we did it. We had a great day. After a few hours at North Park, we headed to Sonic. I'm pretty sure there weren't fruit slushies crossing the plains, but we HAD to eat. After lunch, a $ movie, then a hike to Bridal Veil Falls. The kids were so happy. I actually didn't care about the heat. I loved being together, enjoying these experiences with them. 9 hours out of the house, and the baby slept nearly the whole time. :)

the C word...

Cancer. I hate the word. It terrifies me. I've never really blogged about a dance before. I'm not a dancer. I have no training. But I was moved last night with this dance. I cried before they ever started moving. Melissa...a woman battling breast cancer, and Ade...her strength. People made a REALLY big deal about this dance. Sometimes that will push me the other way. Not this time. I was a sobbing mess. It was without question, the most beautiful dance I have ever seen. My sister is a cancer survivor. She beat it. So many people don't. I love that as the dance progressed, Melissa seemed to tire. She was running out of energy from her fight, and Ade lifted and carried her. That is what love is. Carrying someone when they are too tired. At times I have wished I could take the pain away from a loved one. Take the pain onto myself. I don't know that that is completely possible. I know someone who can, but it isn't me. I DO know that I can help lift their burden though. I can love them, listen to them, have them lean on me, and leave with a bit of their pain on my shoulders.

Here's what we've been doing all weekend. Playing with the liquify filter and laughing ourselves silly! This first one was created by daddy. Shasta the liger is SO happy to see monkey boy Alex. :)

created by Alex

created by Emily

created by Lizzy

created by me.

finicky...

So Dave made the most amazing cookies last night. I was craving chocolate chip cookies, and he makes the best and was willing to do it for me. I am so lucky to have him. Anyhow...he put everything in these things. Chocolate chips, white chips, cinnamon, coconut, craisins. I was eating the dough by heaping spoonfulls. This morning I was telling the kids that we had the BEST cookie dough in the fridge. As soon as they looked at it, I heard, "I don't like the white chips." AND "I don't like so many chips in my cookies." AND "I don't like crasins. " HUH?! Where did you kids come from? I don't think my kids used to be quite so picky. Heck, Lizzy and Emily used to LOVE shrimp...@ 2 years old! They've gotten pickier with age...and it makes me crazy.

We can't even go to McDonald's without taking VERY specific orders. Lizzy and Alex want burgers, but Alex just wants meat and bun, Lizzy wants ketchup and mustard but none of that "rice stuff" (the onions), Emily hates nuggets but will eat a chicken sandwich. Most of them want nothing to do with fries. Molly will eat what I get her...thank heavens for that!

Pizza...Alex doesn't like it. It's the tomato sauce. SO we have to get a sauceless one for him. Emily will eat the pizza but she won't drink the root beer.

My famous frogeye salad...Alex can't handle the marshmallows. They get soggy, he says. SO, we pick them out the best we can.

Hot dogs...Emily insists they be turkey dogs. Noone will eat them with a bun. Molly NEEDS hers sliced in little rounds.

Macaroni and cheese (Kraft)...Emily's done with it. HELP.

Anything green...noone will touch it. Cilantro, green bell peppers, zuccini, even green otter pops.

Come ON...I'm not preparing chicken hearts and lima beans here. Dave and I make some pretty great stuff. We really do. But there is ALWAYS someone who doesn't like it. I don't know how my mother survived making meals for kids for 30 years. It's funny though...I can remember a major aversion to green beans as a kid. Then one night at dinner, I was particularly hungry, and was watching my dad eat his beans. Mmmmm, he kept saying. I was watching him chew, and he seemed to be enjoying it, so I tried them. HEY, not so bad. I love them now. I hope this is how things work out for my kids. How can I teach them to appreciate the finer things? Maybe it just comes with time.

select ensemble...

Ok now...don't be hatin'! This is our select ensemble/chamber madrigal choir from DHS. That's Dover High school in case you wondered. Dover, DE. And let me just say this...we were GOOD. We looked good too. From the triangle, poof hair to the ruffles and polyester bow ties. Can you see me? My little sister Tracy is 4th from the left in the middle row, looking a-MAZ-ing! Just felt like posting this today to give you something to smile about. :) My glory days.

Meet Red, Red and Red...

People ask me all the time where Molly's red hair came from. Dave's Grandma Bird was a redhead when there was still color to her hair. :) These are Dave's 2 redheaded sisters...Kim and Wendi. His sister Cindi is blond but ended up with 3 red kids, and his sister Jodi has brown hair, but ended up with 2 red's. Somehow...and I consider myself quite lucky...we ended up with one too. I feared for a long time that her hair would turn blond. I don't really have issues with blond people. I used to be one. But I already have 2 of those. I love Molly's hair. So much.

I remember going shopping with her once when she was a few months old. 2 ladies behind me in line started talking to me about her hair. I like talking to people about it. I think it's beautiful. They asked me if I knew what the red hair was for. "That's how God marks the bad ones", they said. I couldn't believe my ears. I really couldn't. Dave insists that redheads aren't fiesty because of the color of their hair, but rather the color excuses their fiestyness. OK...there may be a bit of truth to that. Here's what I think though, in observing my 3 year old and my 2 sister-in-laws. Redheads are passionate. They are intense. They are "do-ers". They are funny. They are loving. I'm thinking that isn't so bad.

as good as new...almost

the other mom...

When I realized this little baby girl would be coming right on the heels of the kids getting out of school, I had mixed emotions. How could I possibly handle 5 kids, by myself, all day, every day? I've had several moments since she's arrived (which happened to be on their very last day) where I thought things would be easier to juggle if they were gone 6+ hours a day. They love school. It would keep them occupied. It would keep them happy. I've overwhelmed myself at times, wondering if they are happy. If they are enjoying their summer. We are pretty much homebound...unless I feel really ambitious. If I only had 2 at home all day, I would have so much more to give them. ALL of them.

BUT...I would lose Emily. She is my third hand around here. I need to write this down so that years down the road, I can remember just how amazing she is. I could NOT do this without her and her adorable willingness to help me. She is a nurterer. It comes naturally to her. You can just tell. Alex and Lizzy are wonderful too, but Emily...she was born to be a mom. There are days when I just can't get out of bed at 7 in the morning. Dave takes the baby out to Emily in the living room, where she watches her until I CAN get up. She bounces her, rocks her, whispers to her, kisses her. I trust Emily. Is that strange, considering she's only 8? I trust that she knows how to make the baby happy, and if she can't quite figure out what to do, she will bring her to me. She is patient. I don't think she hears the crying as loudly as the rest of us. She is obedient. She is off, running to do whatever I ask, before I even finish asking. SURE mom. OK mom. Yeah Mom.

She has been showering Molly lately. Molly sees the big kids do it and she wants to too, so Emily helps her. She washes her hair, dries her off, gets her dressed. When I'm tending to the baby and Molly needs help on the toilet, Emily does it. She takes her to the bathroom during sacrament meeting. Did I mention that she's 8? She keeps things running smoothly around here. She even did "homeschool" with Molly. She now knows her alphabet (she can actually write the letters) and early addition. Yes, Emily argues with her brother and sisters. Yes, she sasses Dave and I sometimes. Yes, we have to ask her to make her bed, brush her teeth, get in her jammies several times before it happens. I don't really care. I know that when I'm in a pinch, I can yell out for her and she'll come running.

her poor nose...

Sweet Lizzy had an accident on her scooter last week. An accident where the first thing to hit the sidewalk was her nose. Her beautiful, perfect nose. It didn't look too bad until a few days later when the scabs started to form. She was embarrassed. She worried that everyone would stare, that they would all want to know what happened, that they would think she had chocolate all over her. Noone stared. They did ask what happened, but I think she quickly forgot about it. I wasn't too stressed until a friend asked me what had happened, then proceeded to tell me how it was such a shame because her nose was so beautiful. It got me thinking. Her nose was one of my favorite parts of her sweet profile. I love it. I love all the things about her dainty, little face. But I REALLY loved her nose. Would it heal OK? Would she have scars? Not if I have anything to do with it. SO...she wears this get-up every day, with gobs of ointment underneath. The scars have started falling off. The new skin looks healthy, just a lot more pale and devoid of any freckles. They'll come, my Dad assures me. I sure hope so. :)

UPDATE: All the scabs have fallen off. Everything looks great. Her skin is really tender and freckleless, but her nose is still so beautiful. Whew!

this little girl...

This little girl...

had this to say on Sunday:

I'd like to bear my testimony,

I know this church is true.

I know Heavenly Father loves us.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I was beaming. Nervous when she asked to go up, then beaming once she did it. All alone. No prompting. Daddy walked her up, then he stayed to share his, while she headed back to her seat, getting high 5's and hugs on the way. I could barely see 2 inches of her head above the podium, but I could hear her. I could understand her. I love her and I am so proud.

a contest...

I've entered this picture of Molly and the waving princesses in a contest over HERE. We'll see how we do. :) Watching her made me happy at the parade this year. More than anything else. More than the taffy, the snowcones, the heat, the noise, more than ANY of it!

I love...

I love my family. I love being an American. I love good food, good laughs. I love being a mother, a wife. I love being a Schofield. The 4th reminded me of all that.