rescue...

I needed someone to rescue today. I'm really, really tired. Margaret is sick and not sleeping. I'm waking WAY too early and not dozing back off. I'm trying to run despite my leg pain. My head hurts just a little, all the time. I've gained a few pounds over the last 2 weeks...too many rest days and too much candy. I try to pretend that I have total control over my chocolate intake, but really...I don't.

I put Margie down for a nap at around 10. She slept for 20 minutes (after being up 4 times last night) then sat up and fussed. Her head is hot. Her nose is runny. She can hardly breathe with her pacie hogging up her whole mouth. She was done...and I was angry. Angry at my sick little baby. I had fallen asleep on the couch, but woke to her screeches. I called Dave to warn him that I just may not be able to handle things today. I lose patience fast anyhow, but when I'm tired...forget it.

Just when I thought I just may toss her out the window, I got a call from the school. It was Lizzy. She had gotten hurt at recess. She was sad and embarrassed. I kept asking her if she needed me to come get her and bring her home or if she thought she would be ok. I could tell she was sobbing on the other end. I needed to rescue her. I knew she was mostly embarrassed that kids had laughed at her when she fell. They said she needed to gain some weight. ??? I have a hard time picturing my kids nervous or sad or worried. I want to stop it. Fix it. I have had no control all day over my baby and her grouchiness, but I COULD control this. I could drive over to that school, hug my sweet, tender little girl, and bring her home with me. Something happened to my heart as I was loading the baby and Molly into the car. It softened. I am a mother. That is what I was sent to this earth to do. To nurture. To serve. To sacrifice. To teach. I REALLY needed that reminder today.