Margaret got a new hat today. Actually, WE got a new hat from Grandma and Grandpa for the "photography business". I went outside with every intention of taking 5-6 pictures. Turns out I took about 100. I was tearing up from all the sweetness oozing out of her. I couldn't stop. I really couldn't. My heart was racing. No matter how many I took, it wouldn't have been enough.So I was watching Oprah earlier. No, I'm not a huge fan anymore, but put it on my tivo so I wouldn't miss Stephanie yesterday. It was very emotional for me. A post for another day. I'll just say this...somehow, through it all, she is still beautiful. So beautiful. Anyhow, today the show is about hoarding. Hoarders are so sad. I don't hoard. Well...maybe a little, but not enough to get myself on Oprah. O was comparing them to people who drink, do drugs, over eat. I am like these people in a way. I go to extremes. With my picture taking, with my temper, etc. I could really use a bit more balance in my life. Right now, one of my issues is TV. Not all day. Not while my kids are around. But at night, after they have gone to bed. TV really does relax me. It clears my mind, which is important for me at the end of the day. It helps me fall asleep. The problem is...I don't want to stop. I love the silence, the clean house, the dim lights. I love it so much that I sacrifice sleep for more of it. At night, I'll tell myself I'm ok if I get to bed by 11:30. Once 5 am rolls around and I'm up feeding the baby, I wonder why I am such a moron. Bed by 9 tomorrow night, for sure. Then tomorrow night comes and I'm enjoying "my" time again. Balance, balance, balance. I'll get there.
10 comments:
Oh my goodness---I was ready to tear up and she's not even mine!! Could she be any cuter or sweeter. She is changing so much--and getting more cuter by the day, if that is possible. Oh those are so good. So good. That hat is darling, by the way.
I haven't watched Oprah in years--when we were in our first years of marriage, I watched her religiously. Every day I had my list of shows, actually. BUT I did make time to watch it on Wednesday. Glad I did. Stephanie did look beautiful--her eyes still sparkle so much. I don't even know what to say about it all anymore. She was so soft spoken, so gentle. It was interesting to see her as a person, not just a picture on a blog. It was interesting to hear her vocal voice, not just her writing voice. And to see she and Christian together was neat too. Wow.
Amy, I saw the preview for the show on the hoarders and maybe you need some balance (i'll leave that one up to you--I'm pretty sure we are all needing more of that too) BUT you are no where NEAR those people!!! Holy cow. Just the preview was disgusting. Made me feel pretty good about my house--even on it's worse day. You're cute though. One of the things I love about you is how "real" you are. I love your "confessions". You bring a smile to my face and I am always so glad to read more of your thoughts and see more of your pictures. I think you are great, just the way you are.
And if some TV time is your way to relax and unwind from a busy day of being mommy to 5 kids, I say go for it. But that's just me.
Wow--did you see that grammar in the first paragraph of that essay I left on your comments . . . "getting more cuter." Hmmm, me thinks me needs to go to bed.
Those pictures are beautiful! Oh gosh, Margaret looks so cute!
Yuppers, I watched Oprah that day too... showed me why I dont watch HER, but I did enjoy watching Stephanie. Very emotional and a good reminder to enjoy my children and each moment as a Mother. Balance is a great thing, and I continue to try and learn how to do it everyday. Thanks for being honest. Finally... wow... I love M and I love her hat. And I love the other kids too. They make my Alexa so happy when they stop and talk to her and make her feel special. They were telling me all about Halloween. :) Oh, I love your family.
That little girl is SO cute. Love the hat. It will be perfect for the photo shoot.
Haven't watch Stephanie yet, but it's saved on my TiVo. Perhaps for later today.
Listen, don't beat yourself up. We all have something. It's just a matter of figuring out what it really means and what we can do to fix it. But you aren't ignoring your kids or husband or anything, so it could be worse....
love that baby! LOVE that hat! I know what you mean about balance. It's already 9:30 by the time the house is quiet and cleaned up. How can I just go to bed at 10? I waste my time on the computer. Hmmm.... guess I'd better get off!
I so agree with Kristin. I love to read these blogs and remember all the similar feelings I had when you were growing up. I'm so glad you are taking time to enjoy your children....I wish I had done more of that instead of worring about messy rooms !Margaret looks adorable in the hat,so glad that you found it.
You can't be serious.. how is she THAT cute?! Man.
oh my goodness, I could eat her up AND that hat! And, I have to tell you, I'm SO GLAD I got to 'know' you and your willingness to share your weaknesses and adversities because I find that I AM NOT ALONE...and it's been SUCH A STRENGTH to me 'cause I think you're pretty great. If someone pretty great struggles with the same things I do, then I'm not as bad a person as I tell myself I am. Just love these posts...
Could she be any prettier and cuter? I don't think so! Yummy! :)
And I love the confessions too. I am getting better at not hoarding but there is still headway to be made. We'll all get there :). As for television, it makes me grumpy! I'm so angry about the lack of talent and the boring rubbish they show us, full of scantily clad vacuous people. It's judgmental, I know, but I'm just so bored of it that I would like to throw the tv away. I wish I liked tv more because it's actually very communal. When Marc's engrossed I normally do my own thing elsewhere. xxx
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