I'm tired today. Not depressed, not angry, not sad. Just tired. I'm having a hard time juggling all of my responsibilities. I don't mind any of them...I enjoy them actually, but my balance is off. Between primary duties, scouts, photography, kids homework and reading, staying in touch with my friends, and cooking every once in a blue moon, I'm exhausted. I'm missing important, small moments with my kids because we are constantly running too fast. Hurry here...hurry there...get in the car...shut the door...brush your hair...hurry. Why am I always in a rush? Happy, but in a rush.
President Uchtdorf had amazingly poignant things to say to the women of the church on Saturday. He is powerful...and I have no doubt in my mind that he was speaking directly for the Lord. My favorite thing he said...As a daughter of God, happiness is your choice heritage. Beautiful.
Last night, I had a tiny, brief moment with Molly. I was on the couch with her in my lap. The other kids were downstairs reading, and it was peaceful, quiet, and clean. In 20 seconds, it was gone. But I had enough to realize and be reminded that I need to sit. Be still. Savor moments with my kids and Dave. They are my entire world. The whole thing. IT.
Everything.
12 comments:
I am so glad other people feel that way too. . .sometimes I wonder how I can do it all. And every time I come to the same conclusion. . .I can't! I just have to do the best I can. . .and somehow I seem to manage. . . oh yeah, I tagged you on my blog. Sorry- ha!
I feel like I've been TIRED all year. =) One of my friends from karate reminded me of the talk Elder Russell M. Ballard gave called "Daughters of God."
I really liked that talk. I have to keep reminding myself to slow down and fill up my well.
Yesterday's show of Oprah was good too. It's about Moms feeling overwhelmed.
Oh my goodness! Those pictures (combined with your thoughts) brought tears to my eyes. Especially those pictures though. I love them, Amy. Love that you are with each one, individually. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think I can say, I understand--in my own way I guess. Life is busy. And hard. And beautiful. I have been trying to appreciate the business as it means we are alive and well and happy and full of life. But sometimes . . . it's a hard thing to appreciate. And sometimes, all I want to do is sit. Hugs . . .
Amy I feel the exact same way, I feel too much is expected of me and I am not up to the task. I feel inadeguate most of the time and feel if I just had a clone I could maybe get it all done/clean/ironed/edited/cooked/ shopped for and picked up after. imposible. I do the best I can at the things I can and the rest goes to hell.
I am with ya sister. I am having the same exact day. I sit back and try to figure out what I could remove to make more time and I just dont know. But I know sometimes more than quantity, Its quality. SO keep takin in those little moments even if they are only 20 seconds. Make the most of them. You are the greatest and you take it easy today and you will feel better tomorrow.
The funny thing is, I'm always thinking that you seem to appreciate yours more than I do mine. Maybe it's all perspective. We've just got to take the time and experiences we have and savor them. What a sweet family you have!
Sarah
P.S. You look great in those pictures!
Your such a sweet mother!
I agree with all you say.It really is da-goned hard.Keep relishing those few and far between quiet moments. It really does get less all consuming as they grow but you will remember these days as some of the best ever.
I know how you feel, Am. I yelled at Marley today to hurry up and get her shoes on cuz we were late for preschool and she was so sad that she couldn't go with me to grandpas house to pick grapes. I've been feeling guilty all day today - why didn't I just let her skip preschool today and do something fun with me instead?? Maybe we should have a sit-in day. Just sit around all day with our kids on our laps and hug and kiss them all day long! I wonder how long it would take for them to get bored!
Amy, I SO know what you are talking about. I feel completely overwhelmed this semester. I am disappointed that I am studying so much. Every night this week I have shut the door to the office to study and therefore closing out possible memories with Dan and Quinn, every night. The good thing is that we all do appreciate the simple times that we have with them. :)
Amen to all you said...and I keep thinking about President Uchtdorf's talk, as well. I keep thinking about how I almost didn't go that night because I'm always really sore at night...how, for some reason, something nudged me just a little to go and how much I needed that inspiring and TRUE message. How grateful I am for moments - even small ones - because that's all it takes sometimes for the spirit to give us peace and perspective. Do the best you can...that's all He expects...and "best" is something different and personal to all of us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
You know what's funny? I was just thinking about this exact thing and just thinking about blogging about it. I will just put my comments here. I'm feeling that same way. Lots of roles I play, I don't know if I'm spending the right time in each place. Every day, I sit down and I'm tired. I haven't even had time lately to catch up on blogging or my friends blogs, just too tired. Blogs used to be first, now they are last, and maybe that's good, but so many other things feel out of balance.
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