terrible fours...

She's going through them. It is rough, I'm not going to lie.

She is stubborn,

loud,

mean,

bossy...

and totally adorable.

i'm a mom...

I was a big, fat grouch on Mother's Day. I really was. I ruin things sometimes with my grouchiness. It's just something I do. I give in to the temptations from Satan and ruin perfectly wonderful memories. I have GOT to stop that. Anyhow...lots of screaming from the kids, meltdowns, tantrums...all before church. I was tired. And I was mean. At the end of the day, I sat my kids down in the living room and told them how much I loved them. How sorry I was for spending the day angry. How they make me happier than anything in this world. I get tired being a mother. It's hard. I have bad days. BUT, they bring more joy than anything. Dave and my children are it. All I need.

on the radio...

Did you know that the church has a radio station? It's called The Mormon Channel. It has all sorts of programs, interviews, talks, music. It's pretty fabulous, actually. There is a link to it on the church's website. Did you know that my 3 older kids are going to be on the radio? They have a program called Scripture Stories where a host and a handful of children read a script and discuss stories from the scriptures.

Mrs. Anderson (the twins 1st grade teacher) has an in. Her nephew Brant is a producer for the station. She was asked to be the host, and she asked if my kids would be interested in participating. Seriously?! Church employees for the next month or two? On the radio? Yes maam, they're interested! :)

Our beautiful host...Tami Anderson (SISTER Anderson).

I drove them up to SLC on Thursday night. They record in the conference center. Yeah...THE conference center. Alex was really nervous. The girls were just plain excited. Once we got going though, he loved it. A guy named Amen was running the technical stuff. Alex loved him. Alex wants to BE him actually. He now wants to work for the church. :)

I was really proud of them. I was able to hear everything they said...and I was proud. They know the scriptures, they know the gospel...and that makes me happy.

Tours afterwards. Can you tell where they are? How cool is that? They can't wait for our next session Wednesday night! Truly a once in a lifetime experience. One they will always remember. Thanks SO much Mrs. Anderson. :)

Their first session won't air for a few weeks, but you can be sure I'll let you know when it's going to happen! :)

lookey what I found...

In my defense...

*Flower bangs were pretty hip in the late 80's...Sally Jesse Raphael glasses were NOT.

*I had a nice mole on my chin...not anymore.

*The turtleneck, squinty smile, perm...forget it. Nothing to say in my defense.

TA DA! You're welcome.

wednesday...

Yesterday was a good day, despite being petty hectic. Life for a mother of many is REALLY hectic this last month of school. So hectic, that Dave can only find ONE night that will work for his scout committee meeting. And I don't even have my kids in that many extra-curricular activities. It's just May. Jam packed May. Tuesday night, the kids choir performed at Abravanel Hall in SLC. It's a great opportunity for them...and a really expensive one for us. $9 each...even for Molly. It's important to the kids though, so it's important to me. That is the life of a parent. Loving things simply because THEY do.

Last night was Hope of America at the Marriot Center at BYU. 5th graders from all across the valley take part. It was fabulous. It was stressful before it was fabulous though. Things like this make me anxious. BIG things where your kids can become separated from you. Things that they NEED to be on time for, but your husband takes the wrong road. So anxious that I can feel a physical change in my body and hear a very noticable change in the tone of my voice. I wish I could just "chill". Relax and go with it. I can't though. It's just not Amy. Maybe with medication it can be, who knows?

I started to mellow out a little once we got Alex and Jonathan inside where they needed to be. I went back out to wait for Dave and the kids. Then I saw them. Margaret perched on Emily's hip. Lizzy lugging the diaper bag. Daddy and Molly walking just as fast as they could. The weather last night was gorgeous. Like a cool summer evening...and I love those. I love the light. I love that my kids are getting sun, and their hair was wind blown. I could have taken 100 pictures, right there outside the Marriot center, trying to capture the beauty that I was seeing with my eyes. I told you my twins were little mothers. That first picture proves it to me. I loved kids because I watched my mom and my sisters being mothers. Hopefully my girls will love them from watching me.

Hope of America choir. Loud. Patriotic. Fabulous.

hair...

Last night, I asked Molly to get her hair out of her face before she had her banana boat/FHE treat. This is what she came up with. Yeah...that really is all her hair. So strange how it looks like a wig. She knew she was funny too. I love when my kids realize they are making people laugh. :)

my saturday story...

After race #1 in March (31:38), I knew I needed to try another 5k. The feelings I had after the race was over were amazing. I was euphoric. I had endorphins rushing through me. I was proud of my accomplishment. I felt like I could tackle just about anything. It feels really, REALLY good. Melissa and I and all our other 5k girlfriends decided on the run13 5k benefiting a school for Autism Spectrum Disorder. Little did we know that our sweet friend Lisa's son Caleb attended that school. :)

Melissa and I went to pick up our packets on Friday night. She mentioned that she was worried about the dreary weather...that it may prevent her from doing what she was hoping to do. What are you hoping to do, Melissa? In my mind I'm thinking maybe 30 minutes. After our last race, we just wanted to finish the next one in under 31. I was off...by 3 minutes! She wanted to run the darn thing in under 27 minutes! I have never been able to do it that fast. My personal best was 28:58...on a treadmill. She had done it in the 27's a few times, but I was thinking she was crazy. I only started running again 4 months ago...and I'm NOT a runner. Well, maybe I'm becoming one, but I'm not one yet. I was discouraged. I wanted to run with her, the whole way, yet I knew it just wasn't possible for me. I wasn't sure HOW the next day would go. I knew I could finish. I've been running 4-6 miles a day/6 days a week. Finishing wasn't the problem. It was finishing fast.

I didn't sleep very well that night. I went to bed at about 11:30, then woke up at 3. Never really settled down after that. The race was at 8:15, and I was anxious. Really anxious. I'm telling myself the anxiety isn't worth it. I guess if I can figure out how to channel that into energy, it is. Dave and I picked up Melissa at 7:30 and headed over. My anxiety was slowly fading. I was getting pumped.

We met up with all of our cute friends before we started. Kristin (finished in 35 minutes...shaving 5 minutes off her last race!), Melissa, April and her daughter Kelsey, me, and Jodi (These 3 walked it...and I am so proud of them. Huge goal and they all accomplished it!

The weather was horrid. It was 40 degrees at the most. It was raining then hailing...the entire time. About halfway through, my hands were numb. Melissa and I started off together. We decided that she would just go for it. After about 100 yards, she did. She took off ahead of me. Ends up it was great though. I watched her the whole time. I kept her in my sites. The run wasn't terrible. I needed an ipod and an umbrella, but it wasn't terrible. I told myself that even the fastest runners hurt when they push themselves. They run through it. I got a pain in my side at the halfway point but knew it would fade if I just kept running. So I did. I checked my watch at the halfway point too. I couldn't believe my time. I just needed to keep up the pace.

I did my best to sprint that last 2-300 yards. I heard a cheer from our sweet friends Michelle and Kami on the sideline and that gave me a burst. Then...I saw Melissa. At the finishing line. She was waiting for me. I ran as hard as I could. I really did. Pressed the stop button on my watch right as I crossed the line, looked down, and this is what I saw. (I actually couldn't clear the time off my watch until his morning. Too freaking excited!) I was floored. Seriously!? My best time ever. 53 seconds behind Melissa, nearly 4 minutes faster than our last race. I know SO many of you can run faster than this, but I never have. Melissa beat her goal too...by 10 seconds! We kindof collapsed/hugged/sobbed together. We celebrated eachother and our accomplishments. She is such a dear friend. I don't know what the next race will bring, but this one was perfect. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I had smashed my goal. That feels SO good. I prayed so hard the night before...that I would have strength, endurance, confidence. And I did. All of them.

My official time was actually 27:43 even. No 50/100th's. 6th in my age group (women). 103/381 (men and women). Yay Amy! :)