my firstborn...

He's 12. My sweet boy is 12 years old. I've learned a lot through being his mom. I'm still learning...and making mistakes along the way. Like this morning when I realized he had lost his fleece jacket. The 3rd jacket I have had to buy because he loses them. He loses things a lot. I get mad and say things i regret. Not mean things, but things that make him sad. There is no taking that stuff back. We had a great talk this morning before Dave took him to school late. I HAD to make it right and talk with him so he didn't spend his day wondering how I felt about him.

I love him intensely. I had been told what it was like to be a mother. How you loved someone more than you ever thought you could. I still wasn't prepared. I was in love with him from the second we met. He was so beautiful. I couldn't understand why the nurses needed to take him to the nursery. I lay awake all night, waiting for them to bring him back.

I have learned that my kids respond to me better when I am tender with them. They love their dad and I. They want to make us happy. They don't want to disappoint us. For years, Alex would plop down by me whenever I was sitting on the couch and ask me to rub his back...under his shirt. Every single day. Several times a day.

There was a time where he would always come looking for me after his nap. He was worried and afraid. He would call out to me. When he found me, he would sit on my lap and relax. It reminded me a lot of our calling out to the Lord. That He is always there.

I have learned the importance of forgiving and apologizing. He always forgives. I love that he will talk to me after we argue. We can discuss things and figure out how to make them better. He is such a sweet, tender, loving boy.

Alex is a crazy kid. He makes people happy. He's really nice. I try to help him understand how much his kindness affects people. I think he gets it.

He had his interview with the Bishop on Sunday. The one where he is found worthy to receive the aaronic priesthood. The Bishop had such good things to say about him. I was ridiculously proud. My eyes watered as I watched him smile and fidget in his chair. He is so excited. I am so happy to be his mom.

*A few things about my 12 year old boy:

- he wanted PB cookies as his birthday cake.

- he loves vanilla ice-cream. Butter pecan too, but mostly vanilla, just like his dad.

- he is a brilliant writer and artist.

- he loves to read.

- he desperately misses his best friend Jonathan.

- he is all about i-tunes. He'll listen to his favorite song on repeat for an hour.

- he loves me and wants to hug me all the time.

- he loves school. He can't wait to play the trumpet next year in the middle school band.

- he still worries about his height. Not as much as he used to though.

- his favorite meal is Italian chicken...the crockpot kind.

- I could tell you a million more things. I'll tell you this...I love him to pieces.