I'm a good listener. I really am. I pride myself in it actually. It's one of the traits I got from my mom. I feel like I can empathize with people, feel what they're feeling, validate them. Why do I struggle so much with listening to my kids then? Not listening to them in general, but rather listening to their stories. After about 30 seconds, my eyes glaze over. I think they notice. In my defense, there are 2 times in my day when they like to share their thoughts with me...when we are frantically trying to get out the door, or 10 minutes past their bedtime. Alex is beyond creative. He will write novels someday. Best selling novels. He's already working on some. He asks me all the time to read them...while I'm cooking dinner, changing a diaper, braiding hair. Is it so he can see if I will choose him? One of these days, I'm going to stop what I'm doing and read. Right then and there. He won't know what to think. He also likes to share his dreams from the night before with me. Sometimes I think they are a sliver of a dream, with lots and lots of new stuff mixed in. New stuff that he's making up, right that moment. They are LONG and DETAILED. They are cool. Honestly. But I struggle to hear and respond when I am harried and trying to tend to something else. :(I am so grateful that they still come to me. If I don't listen intently, they'll find someone else who will. I don't want that. How do I give all of them everything they need? Alex is getting older. I may not be as important to him soon...especially if he doesn't think I'm hearing him. Help.
6 comments:
It is so hard to be everything to everyone. Maybe you could set up a special time for Alex to share his thoughts/books/dreams with you. Not only will you (and Alex) not have to feel like you are too busy for him but you will also get special together time!
You are an AMAZING mother. I wish that all mothers were as talented as you.
I wish I could help. I like what the O family said about scheduling time. Something you both can look forward to. Let me know what works. I'll be in your same shoes soon. Hang in there. You DO want him to talk to you.
P.S. I LOVE the picture of you, two and the new one of Alex. He gets more and more grown up every time I see him. Like a High School student. Seriously.
This is a classic Amy post. Real and easy to relate to. Oh do I understand what you are talking about. I nodded my head so many times as I was reading, thinking about my own life as mom trying to figure it all out. Your Alex is a sweetie though. I mean, how cute is it that he still tells you he loves you on the phone. Love it. Shows you are doing plenty right.
Great new alex pictures btw.
I have some understanding of what you are talking about... Only... I have one, the other kid doesnt talk all that much. Alexa talks enough for many children. She wants me to come see, and tell me about her imagination stuff, and all the interesting things of the day... It makes me tired. ESPECIALLY when I want her to go to sleep. However, I got advice from a friend the other day to be the Mom I want to aspire to be right now. Even if its just glimpses. So, the other night I did stop and listen as she rambled and rambled. It made me smile to listen to her stories. I dont think it has to be every time, but I think its good we take time. If you find something that works for you I would love a blog about it. I have these days to look forward to, and I will be sad when all my kid days are over. :(
I don't understand....I am writing comments and they are not going on here.I agree with Michele, but there are times that you have to respond NOW...no matter how hard it is.
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