turning a corner...

I've just finished rocking the baby to sleep. She cooed at me for at least 10 minutes. I would talk, she would coo. Whisper...coo. I don't know that there is a sweeter sound in all the world. Maybe a baby's laugh...we aren't there quite yet. Her coo is the softest, airiest, smoothest sound. I could fall asleep to a CD full of it. Like I said the other day, I think I am now being rewarded for a tough first few months. I realize this is just the natural development of babies, but I'm pretty sure the Lord knew what he was doing.

I remember a friend's thoughts that she shared years ago. She talked about one of her grown daughters who had just had a baby. She wondered why she wasn't feeling the butterflies, "I'm in love with this little person" feelings. Her mother promised her that as time went on, and she cared for and served this baby, those feelings would come. I think there is a lot of truth to that. I had those good feelings in the hospital and most every day since, mixed with some not so great feelings. I've been anxiously awaiting where we are right now. I knew the time would come. That she would sort out how to cope. That she would smile. That she would try to speak to me. That is partially what gave me the patience. She is now sleeping 7+ hours at night. She is crying less...SO much less. I know there are tantrums, sassing, tears in the future. I know there are. But I'm just loving today. I think struggling through the screaming, the diapers, the spit-up...I think all of it makes you love them more. They NEED to be dependent those first few months. They need to so that we HAVE to serve. We have to think outside of ourselves. We have to plan everything around the baby. We have to rush home early from things to tend to the baby. You love those you serve. It holds true at church, in the world, and in our homes. Serving strengthens relationships. Taking care of Margaret has made me fall in love.

*Tomorrow I will write the story of her birth...before I forget.