grandpa movie...

The other day, I was in the kitchen...I'd like to say doing dishes, but I think I was actually eating. I heard her turn on the television. She came in and told me: "I wanna watch a grandpa movie." A grandpa movie? What one could that possibly be? It was C-span. :) I need to start video taping this little girl more often. We have photos coming out the nose, But I don't record her voice enough...her vocabulary, her mannerisms. She is hysterical. She makes me laugh many times a day. LOVE her.

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Molly was up 12 times last night.

movies...

Molly and I just watched Nanny McPhee. I'm trying to sit with her and cuddle before her naps. I want her to know how much I love to be with her. It seems to slow down my day which is exactly what I need. I've seen this movie at least a dozen times. I still cried. If you haven't seen it...you've got to. It is such a beautiful story. I love beautiful stories. I love when movies come together in the end, wrapped up in a pretty little bow. Don't get me wrong, I can handle drama, "real" stories that don't end magically...they just don't make me feel as good. I like to cry. Some day, I am going to make a DVD of all the perfect endings to my favorite movies. The parts where the music swells, you can hardly breathe. You know the ones...August Rush, Ever After, Sense and Sensibility, Dan in Real Life, In America (another MUST see), Notting Hill, About A Boy (yup...a huge Hugh Grant fan), I could go on forever. Wouldn't that be a treasure? Flannel PJ's, hot chocolate, a warm blanket, and happily ever after.

alex and swimming...

Well...Alex and his best pal Jonathan just finished a round of swimming lessons on Saturday. They both passed level 3 and will start level 4 in a few weeks. This pictures are NOT from his current lessons, rather from this summer...just thought it was appropriate and SO cute. :) This is the 4th time Alex has taken this level. He's passed 1/2 the time and had to repeat the other 1/2. I wanted him to totally get it before I had them move him up during the summer. This last session was interesting. He and Jon were the only 2 kids in the class. That was SO great. Their teacher was hard core though. She really worked them. My good friend Kristin and I would go on Saturday mornings and watch them together.

Alex started out doing great. He was remembering all he had learned in July. Then she started asking harder things of them. They started learning to dive...off the diving board. Jonathan got it pretty fast. He is a natural athlete. Alex was afraid. Sitting up in the bleachers, I would just cross my fingers that he would feel it. Understand how his body had to enter the water. He never really did. My fear was that Jonathan would pass and Alex would not. I worried through their whole lesson about how I would help him deal with that. His best friend just happens to be a tiny bit better than him...at almost everything. Jonathan is such a nice kid...never rubs it in...never makes him feel bad. I don't even know that Alex does feel bad, I just know that he notices.

Kristin and I talked about how hard being a mom can truly get. Life is full of these teaching moments. Moments where you have to convince them that they are special and unique and wonderful. Noone told me how hard that part would be. Watching your kids fail. Here's what is so great about my Alex though. He keeps trying. He went off that diving board at least half a dozen times. He'd giggle when he would mess up, then he'd try again. I am so proud of him. I think his teacher saw his determination and decided he was ready to move on. A bullet dodged...but for how long? Hopefully his confidence can come from WHO he is, not WHAT he can do. He is amazing.

all about Amy...

A few friends have tagged me recently. I'm thinking the idea was similar in both. 6 random, quirky facts about myself. Hmmm...let's see here:

1. I HATE WORMS! I don't really mind the rain, but don't ask me to go walking around in it. I am consumed with fears of stepping on them, having them in the treads of my shoes, touching them. I can actually SMELL them when it rains. I'm not kidding. I have to tip toe and watch the ground the entire time I am walking on wet pavement. A couple years ago, it rained terribly when my dad was in town. There were hundreds of worms on our driveway. I couldn't leave the house. He swept them for me. So kind...but never used that broom again.

2. I have to make my bed. First thing in the morning. Cannot handle messy sheets, blankets on the floor. It's SO easy and makes me feel good.

3. I love to sweep (NOT worms though). I love it. I have to do it several times a day in my kitchen. The more crumbs I get, the better I feel. Instant gratification. Along with that, my living room MUST be picked up. The rest of the house can be shot, but the living room...clean = peace.

4. I have a bit of an anxiety issue. I don't like to be ready early. Then I have to wait until it's time to go. Sometimes my palms sweat, I feel nervous...though I'm not. I know exactly how to time it, so that I'm ready right when I have to walk out the door. I know...serious problem.

5. I like to smell Molly. Even her stinky little baby feet. I like to smell her hair, her cheeks. Yum. I HATE when my hands smell...like food, money, anything but lotion. The smell of money on my hands nearly makes me gag. Rust too. Doesn't money on my hands mean I'm rich? Nope. When my kids have been toting around pennies, they have to wash their hands before they get too close. Blech.

6. Did you know I used to play field hockey? For years. I was actually pretty good too. Honorable mention, all-conference. Of course all-conference in Delaware is a bit different than some of those bigger states. All-state chorus too...small state. :)

I'm going to stop there before I think of more and you all decide you don't want to be my friends anymore. :(

I love my dad...

Yesterday was a rough day for Emily. She came home from school quite teary. Just one of those days where she felt lonely. Noone played with her at recess. I was happy to have her home though, so I could remind her how great she is, how much people like her. I wasn't really making things better though, until I remembered that she got a special letter in the mail. Addressed just to Emily. From her Grandpa. Her smile instantly found it's way back to her sweet little face. She was so happy. She felt so important. My dad writes a lot of letters. It's kind of his thing. I remember getting them all through college, and still now. I treasure them and have them all saved. Each one is filled with reminders of how special I am, how important I am, what I need to do to always remember that. I have some tucked away in my scriptures. Some in my journal. Some in special drawers. He is inspired...I know he is. He seems to be keenly aware of what I need and when I need it. He knows if I need to be pushed, or if I need loving, gentle support. He just knows.

A few days ago, he must have known that my Emily would need his thoughtful words. I don't know...maybe letters for the others are on the way. All I know is Emily was the lone recipient yesterday, just exactly when she needed to be.

I'm tired...

I'm tired today. Not depressed, not angry, not sad. Just tired. I'm having a hard time juggling all of my responsibilities. I don't mind any of them...I enjoy them actually, but my balance is off. Between primary duties, scouts, photography, kids homework and reading, staying in touch with my friends, and cooking every once in a blue moon, I'm exhausted. I'm missing important, small moments with my kids because we are constantly running too fast. Hurry here...hurry there...get in the car...shut the door...brush your hair...hurry. Why am I always in a rush? Happy, but in a rush. President Uchtdorf had amazingly poignant things to say to the women of the church on Saturday. He is powerful...and I have no doubt in my mind that he was speaking directly for the Lord. My favorite thing he said...As a daughter of God, happiness is your choice heritage. Beautiful.

Last night, I had a tiny, brief moment with Molly. I was on the couch with her in my lap. The other kids were downstairs reading, and it was peaceful, quiet, and clean. In 20 seconds, it was gone. But I had enough to realize and be reminded that I need to sit. Be still. Savor moments with my kids and Dave. They are my entire world. The whole thing. IT.

Everything.