grateful...

Got some terribly sad news about an old friend of mine last night. Since then, my mind has been consumed with all sorts of thoughts. All I'm going to talk about though is the main thing that keeps making it's way back into my head. I am grateful. Grateful for the people in this photo. This little group is my life. My entire life. I love them. I am so grateful for our health, our faith, our happiness. So many people in this world do not have the happiness that I enjoy every day. That is devastating to me. People hurt, people get sick...mentally and physically, and it makes me sad. More than that though...it reminds me of what I DO have. Treasures...and I need to treat them as such. I love them.

mom...

My mom. We just had her here with us for a week, and now we all have the shakes because we miss her so much. I'm so grateful my Dad was OK with her coming for so long. This woman is one in a million. I'll do my very best to try and explain why. Whenever you are with her...you feel like the favorite. There's something about her. You're drawn to her and just love it when she's around. She loves people and things very intensely. You feel so important, so special. I hope I am able to do that for people. She is the reigning queen of embarrassing moments. I'm not kidding...if you think you can take her...think again. She laughs at herself. I love when she laughs at herself. To summarize her visit...I only need 3 words...SHOP...EAT...LAUGH. Seriously, is there anything better. I love it when she really gets going. We had some really good belly laughing, tears in your eyes moments. Calories burned. Wahoo! I felt calm, happy, peaceful this week. The kids could hardly wait for her to wake up in the mornings...so they didn't. She seemed OK with them pouncing on her at 7 am. Lots of kissing, giggling, compliments. They adore her. We just smiled a lot with her here. Hopefully those smiles (and about 250 photos) can hold me over until Delaware in July. I am so blessed.

charlotte jane...

Whew! What a great weekend. I have a new love and her name is Charlotte. She is perfect. Seriously. Happy, mellow, gorgeous. I am so happy I had the pleasure of meeting her and taking some fun photos. The conditions were perfect on Saturday...45-ish degrees, overcast, no rain. We took pictures ALL day and this baby was fantastic! The next 2 days were frigid and wet, wet, wet. We are so grateful that our sweet mom was praying fervently for good weather! Her big sister Elsie is a dream. She loves this baby and touches her...let's just say ALOT. I miss them already, and am so glad we are related FOREVER.

on my way...

...to beautiful Washington. Honestly, I can breathe easier up there. I love the green, the laid back atmosphere, the fog. All of it. I especially love this little family that now includes one more. My sister Laura, her husband Gunnar, and daughter Elsie have welcomed a new addition...Charlotte Jane. I get to go for a few days, photograph like a maniac, and attend her blessing. I am really proud of Laura. She has such a beautiful life. A kind husband. TWO gorgeous baby girls. I love to be around them. It makes me happy.

So, off we go!

too much love?

Do I love him too much? Too intensely? Sure, I get mad at him...quite often actually, but I cannot bear to see him hurt. I wanted to cry at this picture. This was several months ago at his first pinewood derby. He SO wished his car would win...it just wasn't fast enough. He wasn't the slowest, but awfully close. It really doesn't matter to me if he wins this silly race, but it matters to him, so...He was actually quite cute about it and didn't dwell...a trait I hope he keeps. It's how you play the game that counts, right? We had a pack meeting the other night, and all the wolves got to show a magic trick. A magic trick that he practiced 50 times. A magic trick that he had perfected. When he got up to do it, I could tell he was nervous. He was silly, and that means nervous. The trick didn't work. He giggled and sat down, but I knew he was concerned. Several of us told him to try again. His scout leader tied the slip knot...it wouldn't slip. This time when he sat down, he did his real tight blink, which means tears are on the way. I couldn't handle it. Dave and I called him back, told him it was OK, fixed the knot and sent him trying...one more time. It worked, kindof. Everyone cheered. I watched him, concerned that he was still sad, but within a few seconds he was laughing with his friends. Whew. I was SO very proud of him for getting back on that horse, and I've told him that several times since. I could have swallowed him up in a huge hug that night. I wanted to just envelop him and take his fears and worries on myself. But I can't. There's the rub. I have to learn to let him experience and feel. He can lean on me when he needs to.

my latest love affair...

OK...so I have to admit...I am in love with this child. I love her profile...the perfect little nose, soft lips, dainty chin. I even love her big old ears. I could just sit and stare at her. Mmmm. Last week it was Alex, but this week it is all about Elizabeth. I am so grateful that somehow I am able to love all my children the same. What a blessing. I remember just before the twins arrived, being so concerned that my love for Alex would need to be cut in half to give the girls what they needed. Wrong. Love em, love em!

Gordon B. Hinckley

President Hinckley passed away last night. Dave and I were in the middle of watching TV when the breaking news came on. We both sat with our hands over our mouths in disbelief. My mind was flooded with all sorts of emotions. Sadness was one of them...but only for a minute, then peace. The good news of this gospel is that death is not the end. I spent some time trying to envision the reunion between him and his sweet, sweet Marjorie. THAT was overwhelming. He was a beautiful person. Kind, warm, gentle. He was sunshine. I smile when I look at him. I remember him showing up unexpectedly at Rachel's BYU graduation last spring. I was squealing, heart racing, grinning from ear to ear. That's how he made you feel. I will miss him terribly but am so glad that my life could be influenced by his.