told you so!

CASE IN POINT: Guess what was in the middle of our kitchen floor last night. A squished up, dead, shriveled worm. I told you they could make their way around in people's treads.

molly's lesson...

Molly gave our Family Home Evening lesson last night. I stopped her 5 seconds into it because it was so darn cute and I couldn't let her proceed without video taping it. I didn't want to miss a second. She stood very still at the front of the room, Lizzy whispering in her ear, only wiggling her toes. She was excited. Her smile was huge. Earlier in the day, Lizzy (who was home sick form school) scribed as Molly told her just what she wanted to say. Lizzy drew 2 of the pictures, and Molly drew the others. On the bottom left is Jesus on the cross with a man putting a crown of thorns on his head. She draws Jesus on the cross A LOT. In fact, she drew him on Dave's birthday poster. She loves Jesus. On the bottom right is Daniel in the lion's den. You can tell she really pays attention in FHE and primary. She absorbs everything we say.

The last few lines of her lesson may be my favorite. I have been trying to teach her the importance of keeping the bathroom door closed now that Margaret is crawling. I explained that babies are heavier on the top half of their bodies, and that if she pulled herself to standing by the toilet, she could topple in and could drown. Molly is now obsessed with the toilet, drowning, Margaret falling in. Maybe I should filter more when I explain things to her, maybe not. :)

when will I learn?

Don't you just hate it when your husband runs out to grab 2 things from Walmart, you know it should only take him 40-45 minutes, so you start planning the rest of your day? It's been an hour and 1/2...no sign of him. Your blood starts to boil, you wonder how you will accomplish everything you wanted to today, while he is out galavanting all over town. You lay into him when he gets back. And I mean...you REALLY let him have it. Then after the dust has settled, he tells you there is a surprise in the fridge. He wasn't galvanting...he went to Chocolate to buy you cupcakes.

my discovery...

So, Dave and i went to the movies last night. We saw 2012 which I wouldn't highly recommend. Too much action, too much suffering, too much dying. It got old after an hour or so. We were both anxious for it to end. We had an interesting conversation on the way home though. And I discovered something. I discovered my greatest fear. I thought I knew what it was. Losing a child. Possibly due to illness, accident, falling in the hippo exhibit at the zoo. I know. Really wierd. Not the losing a child part, but the hippo part. After a somewhat lame movie, I realized that that isn't really my greatest fear.

My biggest fear is my kids experiencing fear. Alone. Being afraid all alone. I watched all the destruction and catastrophe and kept imagining me, right in the middle of that scene, with Dave and my kids. You can see why the movie got a little exhausting. Buildings collapsing, tsunami type waves, earthquakes. I could handle all of that on my own. I would be afraid, but I could cope. I really think I could. But my children. My sweet children. Maybe that is why in the movies, parents always say, "Save my children first"...so the children do not have to experience that fear. What if WE were taken out to sea and somehow, heaven forbid, we got separated. I wondered if I would tie us all together. If one of us went, we would all go. I kept picturing one of my kids alone. Alone and scared. What would their face look like? How would they feel? Would they panic?

Then my mind turned to people like the Smart's who lost a daughter for 9 months to a complete maniac. A man who hurt her in so many ways. I remember reading the Smart's book and Lois talking about some of the things that went through her head while Elizabeth was gone. Was she afraid? Was she cold? Was she hungry? Those are the kind of thoughts that would haunt me forever. Only with divine help could I let images like that go. I know that the Lord would be there to comfort them, but would they be too afraid to feel His peace? Last week, a 17 year old girl from CA went missing during an after school jog. 4 days later, they found her sexually assaulted body in a shallow grave. I somehow let my mind imagine HER face, HER fear, yet she has no ties to me. I cannot fathom her mother's pain. The pain I would feel if it were one of mine.

I know, this is a lot of rambling, with not much of a point. Why write about something that terrifies me to the point of a racing heart and sweaty palms? I guess it makes me treasure my children more. Treasure THEM and treasure my time with them. It also reminds me of the bigger picture. The Lord is running the show. He alone knows how to calm a troubled heart. How to bring peace to an anxious mother. How to comfort a grieving parent. He knows because he felt it. I'm just sure he did.

dave's big day!

40 things I love about my Dave, on his 40th birthday:

1. He whistles...all the time. I love it. It sets a happy mood in our house.

2. He cooks like you wouldn't believe. Mmm hmm...THAT good.

3. He gets up in the middle of the night with the kids.

4. He does an amazing job with our yard.

5. He loves flowers and he's not embarrassed about it.

6. He sings beautifully. I like the rare Sunday when I get to sit next to him and hear.

7. He knows the answer to everything. A memory like a steel trap. It took me a few years to realize he was actually smarter than me.

8. You should see what he can create with some sand and water at the beach.

9. I LOVE that he loves my family just as much as his own.

10. He doesn't raise his voice at me. Ever.

11. He always lets me hold the remote...and I mean always.

12. He is selfless. Truly selfless.

13. He let me name Margaret Margaret. Actually, he let me name all the kids.

14. He never lets his fingernails get too long.

15. Never a day without a shower.

16. His laugh.

17. His support of my need for escape at the end of a long day.

18. He tells me I'm beautiful...even more beautiful than celebrities who are more beautiful than me.

19. He can fix anything. I'm not kidding.

20. He'll bring me treats when I'm sitting like a bump on the couch.

21. He won't let us see a rated R movie, despite my pleading once in awhile.

22. He calms me when I am anxious.

23. He'll rub my feet if I ask him.

24. He laughs anytime I call him at work to tell him something funny from my day.

25. He'll come home from work to rescue me if I'm struggling with motherhood.

26. He gives the kids horseback rides.

27. He is handsome.

28. He will watch Dancing With the Stars with me. And SYTYCD. And The Bachelor. And Ellen.

29. He cooks dinner around here 99 1/2 percent of the time.

30. He is gentle.

31. He is kind.

32. He is a great artist.

33. He let's me buy $2.75 cupcakes and doesn't get mad at me.

34. He shovels the driveway before the snow even settles.

35. He always gives people the benefit of the doubt.

36. He tells me my piano playing is pretty, even when it isn't.

37. He loves our children.

38. He loves me.

39. He loves the Lord.

40. He's mine.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE! I love you.

take a look...:)

When I tell you there is an age gap in our family, I'm not kidding. I'm the tallest of the little ones in yellow. This is my sister Caroline's wedding. Can you imagine being in your early to late teens and your mother is still having babies? Even more than that though, can you imagine being the mother? This was before any of my sweet grandparents passed away. They are all gone now. Grandmother (my dad's mom) is hanging on his elbow on the left, and Pop (dad's dad) is partially hidden behind Sally. Grandy (my mom's mom) is with Joe on the right, and Grampy (mom's dad) is tucked behind Grandmother on the left. We're a mess in this picture. Man, I love it though. I love my beautiful family. My forever family.

Here we are a few years later at Lisa's wedding. Good heavens...look at those cute tiny girls. This picture makes me smile because I am Emily. Emily is me. I love it. Lisa looks like she was just picked off the cover of some bride magazine. Gorgeous. Look how cute and young Caroline looks over there on the left. That's all of us. All 8. Some of my very favorite people in the world.

sunday...

*Goofing off after a good day at church. :)

I hope I'm not the only person who feels this way...but Sunday's are hard around here. We don't have church until one o'clock, but somehow still manage to be frantic that last hour. I go to get myself ready, then realize I haven't done anyone's hair. I'm frustrated because Dave can't help me out with that. Has everyone had lunch? Alex, do you have your church shoes on? Mom, I can't find my scriptures. Emily, did you brush your teeth? Has someone gotten Margaret dressed? Really, it isn't this hard to get somewhere on weekdays. Frustration.

Yesterday as we were barking at eachother, rushing to get out the door in time, I found myself craving church. I KNEW the peace I would feel once we got there. Once we were all seated in the chapel next to eachother. Once I could feel the sweet spirit calming my anxiety. I am so grateful that I have a place like that to go to. That I know how it will improve my day. That I don't have to rely on things or substances to feel better. I know we are blessed for being obedient. Yesterday was a good day.