My life can get pretty hectic. I bet yours can too. Being a mother is hard work. Things never really seem to quiet down or stay tidy. Sometimes, it wears on me. I can feel it coming. My anxiety. My temper. Sometimes my mind feels so full of noise and chaos that I can't focus. I just drift from thing to thing, without really thinking.A few days ago, I was driving Molly to preschool. I took out one of our noisy (wonderful, but noisy) cd's in the van and put in a mix from my sister. Music from The Boy In The Striped Pajamas and The Mission. Beautiful, moving music. I was teary as I watched my 2 sweet baby girls in the rearview mirror. I'm not even sure why, other than that I was FEELING. The music and peace that it brought were allowing me to feel. I was feeling intense love for my children. I was reminded that THEY are what my life is all about. Pure and simple. It brought to mind a thought that I read in a book by C.S. Lewis. It comes from St. Augustine:
God wants to give us something,
but cannot, because our hands are full
- there is nowhere for Him to put it.
I think about this quote quite often. I don't want my hands to be too full. They don't have to be. I need more moments like this one, where there are no distractions. Nothing to take away my focus. I can create these moments for myself. We all can.
3 comments:
I love CS Lewis. somehow he can articulate the truth so well. I remember the Janice Kapp Perry music and all the other church music we listened to all the time (and tried to harmonize with) I think it really helped the spirit of our home.
AMEN. Good stuff. I love good music and how close it brings me to God through the spirit. What a magical thing (for lack of a better word).
Amy, I never feel that way. I am a perfect specimen of perfect prioritizing and never feel bad for semi-yelling at my kids for the umpteenth time to pick up after themselves. In face, they never put anything down that is not in its right place. ok, not really and I loved that quote. It's been so fun catching up with you even though we haven't seen each other in 82 years! love erin
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