solo...

So, I did my first (mostly) solo race yesterday. I only really started this running thing a little over 2 years ago. I have run a tri-relay, two Red Rock Relay's, five 5-k's, three 1/2 marathons, and one full marathon. I have run all of them with friends. There have been a few races in there where I started with a friend, then we separated once we figured out our own pace, but this one...I signed up alone.

Tara and I ran the Mt. Nebo half-marathon last september and had the time of our lives. It was the best race! The fastest race. The most beautiful race. Anyhow, Tara hurt her foot about a month ago. We have been doing our own things exercise-wise for the last little while. She is easing back into running, but knew the 13.1 of this race would be too much for her foot. So, I just let it go. Tara couldn't go, I wouldn't do it. We would just hit it again next year. But I kept getting emails from them. I kept seeing facebook updates. I was sad I wasn't doing it. I realized I might actually be sad if it came and went and I didn't run. I knew I could do 13.1 miles alone. I've done it many, many times by myself. I just didn't know if I could do it as fast as Tara and I had last year. That bothered me. It bothered me that it bothered me. Does that make sense? I thought about it for a few days, then decided I was going to do this darn thing, by myself, as fast as I could. I had to let the time thing go, and not worry about how fast I did it, but rather enjoy the experience.

One of my stresses was getting up to the start of the race and having to wait there alone, for over an hour, in the cold and the dark. There are LOTS of people up there, but I wouldn't know any of them. Turns out, my friend Jen was running it too, alone, with the same fears as me. Yay! We ended up riding down to Payson together, hanging around the firepits together, and distracting eachother from being nervous. It was such a blessing to have her there. She did GREAT by the way. She came in under 2 hours which is HUGE! I was so, so happy for her.

SO, here are my splits:

mile 1: 7:34

mile 2: 7:18

mile 3: 7:07

mile 4: 6:59

mile 5: 7:00

mile 6: 7:11

mile 7: 7:07

mile 8: 7:38 (fuel)

mile 9: 7:35

mile 10: 7:24 (Tara joined me)

mile 11: 8:48 ... sad

mile 12: 7:52

mile 13: 7:57

My Garmin didn't even get to 13.1. Only 13.01, so I was 9/100ths of a mile shy of a half. :)

I started out feeling very confident and very strong. I had been pushing myself pretty hard on some of my runs lately and knew I had it in me. The downhill of this race was definitely working in my favor. My legs sure do hurt today (and my feet, and my shoulders), but yesterday, I was loving the elevation drop.

I noticed within the first few miles that the texture of the road was different from what I was used to, and had forgotten that from last year. The road wasn't as smooth as around town. I know that sounds wierd, but you can feel the texture through the soles of your shoes, and it felt strange. Also, my legs seemed to feel heavy. I stopped for a quick drink just after the mile 4 marker and remember them feeling like jello. It worried me. I hadn't run that far yet. Why were they feeling so strange? They didn't feel this tired until about mile 9 last year. Oh well, I got my drink and got going again. I was still able to maintain a pretty good pace. I was pushing. It wasn't easy, but I felt good about things. There were a few people I watched ahead of me. I originally started out by the 1:45 pacer to play it safe, but after the first few miles, I realized I could do this. I could finish faster.

I had eaten a GU/Roctane and a Gatorade Primer just before the race started and thought I would be fine for quite awhile. The problem was, there was no fuel at the aid stations until mile 7.5. I remember a lot more fuel last year. I should have packed one. Now I know for next time. I can run 7.5 miles without fuel. I've done it lots of times. But...I haven't ever done it when I was pushing my body so hard. I ran out of gas before I could get more in me. When I finally got some, I think it was too late. The next few miles were fine. They were fast, actually, but I could feel myself winding down. You can feel it in your legs. You can hear the voices in your head. "You can't do this, Amy. You went out too fast. There is no way you can maintain this pace. You need to walk for a minute. You are TIRED."

Dave had brought Tara down with him. She was going to run the last few miles with me. I love her for doing it. She is such a wonderful, caring friend. I think it was just too late. Mentally, I had had it. As soon as she got out of the van, somewhere between the 9th and 10th mile, I told her I needed to walk for a second. My legs felt fresher once I got going again. Once you give in though, once you listen to your head telling you your body is done, it's bad news. I would stop probably another 6-8 times before I finished. I even stopped a few hundred yards from the finish. I wanted to cry. Mile 11 stressed me out. It was slow. Ok, not slow, but certainly slower than the rest of my race had been. When my Garmin beeped and I checked my time, my heart sunk. To that point, I had been running an average pace of 7:16. That was out the window. Did I care? I wasn't even sure that I did.

I went into the race, knowing full well that I would be slower than last year. I just knew it. But then when I saw that I just might be able to pull it off, I got my hopes up. They went up, then they came down again. I kept moving though. Walk for a few seconds, run hard for a bit, then walk again. Turns out, I managed to beat my time...by 15 seconds! I'll tell you what, I will take it. With all that walking and discouragement those last 3 miles, I will take it. People were so kind. Just like the last few miles of my marathon, people would cheer me on as they ran by and saw me struggling. Tara kept telling me I could do it. People are just so good. They really are. I had no kick at the end. None. That bums me out. I always have something left to give. I just didn't on Saturday. I still can't really believe I was able to run it faster, even if it WAS only by 15 seconds. I am proud of myself. I am sad too, but mostly proud. It is a beautiful course. I will be back for 2013. Tara and I will be together. I plan on coming in under 1:35. :)

13.01 miles

1:37:39

average pace 7:31