motherhood...

I entered an essay contest a few weeks ago. I didn't win. I don't really care though. This is what I think about being a mom:

Motherhood is feeling. It is what I was born for. It is why I am here. It is sacrifice. It is pain. It is joy. It is a chance to learn. Ultimately though, I think it is about what we feel. How we feel. What we do with those feelings. I have never loved anything as intensely as I love my children. I loved them from the moment they arrived. I love them even more as time goes by. The Lord in all His wisdom made it possible for me to feel enough love for each of my 5 children. I never had to take love from one to give to another. There has always been enough for all of them.

To me, motherhood is allowing ourselves to feel what our children are feeling. We are sad when they are sad. We feel so much joy when they are happy. We remember what it was like to be young and unsure of ourselves. We remember what it was like to wonder where we fit. We remember what it was like to be nervous, embarrassed, anxious. We remember so that we can feel with them. When we feel what they are feeling…THAT is when we can teach. When they understand that we remember, that we are feeling their sorrows and heartaches, they listen to us. They trust us. I have never felt more pain than when one of my children is hurting. I ache for them. But when they are happy, when they are proud…I nearly burst. Our hearts become so in tune with theirs that it is difficult to separate the two. I have never understood how a mother could speak to her children or act in such a way that the child would pull away in fear. Does she not SEE that fear in the child’s face? Does she not feel that sadness or pain?

The most important feelings for me though, are the ones I get from my Father in heaven. Call them promptings, intuition, gut feelings. They come from the Lord to help me guide my children. They help me protect them. Instruct them. They help me to know when one of my sweet ones needs a little extra. I am so, so grateful for those feelings. When I take the time to pay attention to them, and respond as I know I should…that is when I experience true joy. That is when I know I am doing what I was designed to do, who I was designed to do it with. When my little boy turns to me, eyes wide with disbelief, and says, “Mom, how do you always know just how to make me feel better?”…I have arrived. 


I am thankful for a sweet mother who taught me to feel. She taught me to love others immensely and to be sensitive to those soft feelings that come from the spirit. I love her.