I have REALLY struggled with the whole Santa thing. When should you reveal the truth to your children? Alex is 10...he had to know soon. What scared me was his possible reaction. Would he be disappointed? Sad? Would he go to bed and worry about it? Would it totally deflate him? I knew that we needed to tell Alex pretty soon, but when? I thought about doing it just after Christmas last year, but then worried that he'd have a whole year to be sad about it. After talking with some friends, they convinced me that he would be cool with it, and would love the new title of "Santa's helper."
He had been asking lots of questions. Did Santa really come down the chimney in our old house? I told him NO, that the fireplace had been too small. He then told me that Santa supposedly had special powers and could shrink to get through fireplaces. Hmmm...I hadn't heard that. I quickly changed the subject. He put some pretty pricey stuff on his Christmas list. I told him that some of it may be too expensive. He asked WHY, if Santa makes it all. Here's the thing. I think he knew it may be a hoax. He kept on trying to believe though. He wanted it to be real. I really, REALLY stressed about our conversation. If you know me, you know the all-caps "really" doesn't even describe it.
A few weeks before Christmas, I told Dave I was going to do it. I called Alex into my room and told him I had a HUGE secret. It was the coolest secret ever and none of the other kids knew it. In fact, a lot of his friends at school didn't even know, so he would have to keep it in his head. I started asking him the same questions he had asked me earlier in the month. He figured it out himself. It he wasn't even sad. It was so cool. I told him he would get to come back upstairs after the girls had gone to bed, to help pile up the presents. I then told him that the bells they hear outside every Christmas were us too, with the help of Leonard last year. When he realized that he may be the one who got to jingle them, there wasn't a trace of anything but excitement. He couldn't wait. He kept up the whole Santa thing for the girls and it was darling. I was so worried he would slip. I worried for nothing.
As I mentioned before, He was bouncing on Christmas Eve. He and Dave went outside to "get the stockings" while the rest of us sat down in the living room and Lizzy started to read Twas the Night Before Christmas. Within a minute, we heard those bells, signaling that Santa was on his way. The girls dashed to their beds. Alex came running in from the garage shouting, "I heard him! I heard Santa!" I went back down to grab him a few minutes later. I could almost SEE his heart beating out of his chest. You know when you are so excited and anxious, you can hardly breathe? That was Alex. He kept saying..."This is so awesome! I LOVE this! I can't believe how fun this is!" We got it all sorted out, he even helped put out the girl's Santa gifts. He got to open a tiny one early as my thanks for his help. What a night. What a great kid. :)
He told me a few days later that he didn't really like knowing the truth. His best friends still believed and they said that if you didn't, you were crazy. I reminded him of his total GLEE helping me that night, and quickly put those concerns to rest. Now...when to tell the twins?
Sittin' pretty...and paci free!
Our holidays were everything I'd hoped for. They started with a quickie photoshoot in the freezing cold snow. I had just taken some darling pictures for my friend Melissa an hour earlier. I was jealous of them to be quite honest. I had to have some of my own. I ran home, threw together whatever hand-me-downs I could round up, and out we went. As we were leaving the house, I found myself wishing I was one of those "buy a new dress and tie for each kid, every holiday" kind of moms. Oh well. We made it work. The light, dusty, falling snow had turned into snowrainslush. Let's just say the kids weren't loving it. But they love me, so they did it. After that first shot, I begged for some cooperation and forced smiles, with promises of hot chocolate and treats. They delivered. :)
I think the kids got everything they'd dreamed of. I now understand my parents always telling us they didn't really want "things" for Christmas. I've turned into one of those people. I just want my sweet kids to be happy. Their joy brings me joy right back. So much joy. I anticipated Christmas morning for weeks. I had shopped my little heart out. Saved all my money from photoshoots (which was quite a bit. I pay my tithing, and I think that is why I was blessed with so much business). I toted around a little blue notebook for the entire month, reading and re-reading their lists, wondering how they would react to each and every gift. I couldn't sleep the night before. They couldn't either. Dave says they were up at 12:45 ready to go...I slept through that part. :)
Things I want to remember:
Whew. Back inside in our nice, warm house. :)
9 years ago today, these little sweets came along. I was head over heels from the very first second. I could not believe how blessed I was to have been given these girls. I still feel so blessed, nine years later. Nine tear, laughter, fight, hug, kiss filled years later. These girls are gifts. Are they really mine? 
4 years old!
