OK...some help here. The other day on the way to scouts, Alex asked me if Santa was real? He said that kids at school were saying it was just the parents. Considering I had the 3 younger girls in the car too, I didn't know what to say. I asked him what HE thought. He still believes, but said that he is almost getting in fights about it at school. I knew this day would come. When did you all learn the truth...or do you still not know? :) I don't think it hurts him to believe...plus that's what Polar Express tells him to do. What is the appropriate age to let him in on it? Will he tell his sisters? Help.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
a question about the big man...
OK...some help here. The other day on the way to scouts, Alex asked me if Santa was real? He said that kids at school were saying it was just the parents. Considering I had the 3 younger girls in the car too, I didn't know what to say. I asked him what HE thought. He still believes, but said that he is almost getting in fights about it at school. I knew this day would come. When did you all learn the truth...or do you still not know? :) I don't think it hurts him to believe...plus that's what Polar Express tells him to do. What is the appropriate age to let him in on it? Will he tell his sisters? Help.
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I think I was in first grade, a little young. But if you do decide to let him in on the secret ... my parents had a really cool tradition. Once you found out about you-know-who, you got to help them put out presents on Christmas eve. That way there is still something fun to look forward to for him and a huge reason to keep the secret himself from his sisters. Honestly, if he comes to you really wanting to know the truth I think it's better to tell him. Maybe he didn't really want to know the though since he asked in front of the others!
Olivia did the same thing last year. It was like she already knew and wanted me to just confirm it. I was so worried that she would feel betrayed, but she was just fine and now she likes to help me get things ready for the younger ones. GOOD LUCK!!
Tough decision. I think its better to be honest at this point though. Especially if he is getting in arguments at school. If you make it a special discussion between you and him, and maybe Dave. Tell him its ok to believe and the spirit of Santa Claus, etc.. Make sure he understands not to ruin it for the girls, and how much fun it is to let others believe, I think he will really get into with you. Its a good time for him to learn to appreciate what people do for others in the world, rather than Santa. Its all about what you do to make it a positive experience for him.
Amy, I think that you should pull him aside and tell him. I found out when I was really little because Rich asked my Mom while I was in the car. She was honest and I started crying and then realized that my childhood was STOLEN! hehe. But I like the idea of letting him help you and Dave "be Santa" and that makes him feel cool and special so he won't "ruin" it for your other kids.
I started from the beginning telling Merrody it's not true. Luckily, the kids just don't believe me when I say that. I figure, she'll start to believe that I'm right about Santa when she's ready to accept it.
My parents never told me...all my mom said was if you don't believe in Santa then you wont get presents from him.
OK...hold onto your seats. I was in 5th grade and my daughter, Kaia, who is in 6th grade still believes.
For awhile I was afraid Kaia would be mad at me for 'lying' to her. That she would feel embarrassed, but she has figured out the tooth fairy, birthday fairy {decorates bedroom door on birthday} and the Easter Bunny and she has been fine. A little sad, but fine. And she is totally being a great sport about it with Blake. Not sure why she hasn't figured out Santa yet?! I think it is because she got a balance beam one Christmas from him and she doesn't think we would ever be able to find one. She is even still telling everyone that her puppy came from Santa and I have to wink to them to let them know she still truly believes it!
Not sure I am being any help here. It is such a magical time for children and they already grow up too fast. I would try to talk to him privately to keep it fun for the younger kids. The first year I found out (5th grade...like I said) I was so sad but my mom let me help fill the stockings and feeling a part of the magical secret helped soften the blow!
Happy Thanksgiving. Phew thank goodness there is no maximum character entry in comment posts!
Oh..I almost forgot...can I steal that picture of Santa for one of my posts? It is adorable!
April...you are hilarious! I'm thinking I may let Alex go one more year. He is just so sweet and innocent and slightly naive. I'm just not sure. Take the Santa picture. Fine by me. :)
I say tell him. I found out when I was 8. I think he is plenty old to know the truth and the fun thing is...once my older kids found out they actually enjoyed saying and doing things to help the younger siblings believe. I think they felt kind of special and grown up. It is disappointing finding out, but you don't want other kids teasing him. He will still have many years of "the magic" since he's the oldest of soon to be 5!!! :-)
We can chat more a later bout this. All of mine still believe, but #1 is questioning. There is a part of me that loves it and a part of me that doesn't. I loved believing in that kind of magic when I was little and my parents really did a lot to maintain that semblance of magic and wonder. Again, I want to talk later with you. Kind of sad we won't have saturday mornings until January!!
SANTA IS REAL! I BELIEVE! Seriously, maybe aspects of the story aren't real, but so much of it really is.
I have always tried to be careful how I talk about Santa so that my words have dual meanings and the kids could understand what they want about him (is he a real person? is it the spirit of Christmas that he symbolizes?)...our eldest found out when she was about 9 or 10; she was questioning, so I felt it was time. However, it crushed her and I thought surely I had done the wrong thing. Even though we invited her to participate in the Christmas Eve fun, she didn't want to that first year. Now she's excited about it every year.
Our #2 still believes, it seems (even asked recently if Santa could bring him a leprechaun again---HELP!), and I won't say anything unless he asks me outright! I think you'll have to go with your gut on this one. If Alex keeps questioning, maybe a date night with Mom or Dad would be a good time to discuss it further.
(On a side note, I remember defending Santa to my friends in 4th or 5th grade, and then being mortified when I found out "the truth." I didn't want my daughter to experience that, so that probably played into my decision of when to tell her.)
oh no... I think I was in about the 1st grade and the 'other kids' were telling me that to I just didn't want to believe but you really figure it out when your watching for it.. Just think you can have a helper now :-)
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